Pregnancy and baby loss is one of the most traumatic experiences most people can imagine, and it creates a unique type of grief and pain. Although research shows perinatal loss is common, it can often be a private, invisible event for women and couples. I have personal and professional experience with pregnancy and baby loss, and also spent time working therapeutically for the pregnancy and baby loss charity Footsteps Counselling and Care.

 

The grief of pregnancy and baby loss is often different to other grief as it is a loss of the future rather than of the past; the pictures and stories you had imagined in your head about your child’s future. For many people parenthood is the most meaningful life transition there is, so it can be devastating when it is not the future you expected. 

 

Research has shown that women who experience pregnancy and baby loss have higher rates of anxiety and depression in a subsequent pregnancy. These studies also show that for some women anxiety and depression exists even beyond a subsequent pregnancy, and particularly if they have experienced multiple perinatal losses. While much of the research centres around women, men can experience psychological distress too, and are often the forgotten mourners.

 

Pregnancy loss can happen very quickly, so through our therapy I hope to provide a space where you can make sense of what is happening. This is not just grieving for the baby you have lost, but also for your sense of yourself as a parent and your plans and hopes for the future. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, it is important to give yourself time.